You have to work on allowing yourselves to be vulnerable with each other. That’s how trust is formed and that’s how you’ll rebuild it. This way, you’ll both be able to understand what the other needs and also what’s hurting them the most. When you know these things, it’s much easier to heal and move toward a place of trust again.
Keep holding onto the bigger vision that you’ll both get through this, no matter how shaky it seems at the moment. •Accept that sometimes it going to feel like you are moving two steps forward and three steps back. One day it seems like there’s hope for tomorrow, and the next day, you’re sleeping on the couch again. Have a plan in place that will help you to stay calm and centered while you navigate through the inevitable bumps, obstacles, landmines and setbacks that will happen. Rather than being shocked and overreacting, be prepared to take positive action.
- If you’re the partner that broke the trust, you have to make space for the hurt feelings and repair.
- So what does it mean to express your feelings to an unfaithful partner?
- Over time, this becomes a nightmare for the betrayed partner, and it wreaks havoc with the rebuilding of trust.
- Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions; apologize for the hurt you caused and avoid defensiveness, which will only perpetuate the conflict or crisis.
- When one person in a relationship cheats, whether or not you break up is ultimately a personal matter that can depend on a wide range of factors .
If your partner makes a mistake or two over the course of a long relationship and owns up to it, working on trust issues may be the right move. It’s normal to question if it’s even worth it before you decide to commit to working on your relationship.
Is It Possible to Rebuild Trust After An Affair?
Listen.We learn as kids to take turns and that is still a crucial skill to remember in relationship with others as adults. This is very easy to say, but much harder in practice.
If they’ve hurt you in a way that’s a deal breaker, it’s time to move on. If not, think about what you need to heal and ask for it. Finances are often difficult for couples to navigate together. A financial betrayal is a breach of trust around money. This could look like lending money to your family without talking about it with your partner first. Or making a big purchase with joint funds that wasn’t agreed upon.
Couples
It will be important to answer their questions honestly regardless of how ashamed, frustrated, or embarrassed you are. Allow them time to process in whatever way is most helpful to them. This may include giving them days or weeks to think about what you’ve said.
It’s only when you have full trust in yourself that you can have full trust in your partner.
As your partner starts to open up to you again and you sense some of the intimacy returning, focus on making new memories together. These will help you to make a new start and bring you closer together. It’s important that both of you address what has happened and don’t succumb to the easy option of brushing it all under the carpet. Your partner has to notice all of the changes in you and make it clear that they are ready to move past the lies and start fresh.
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